09/22/05 6:39 AM ET
Dear Diary: 10 games left
Millar looks ahead to the home stretch and fighting for first

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We have 10 games left, and this is the exciting time of the year. You have a choice every morning, as a player, and as a person really, to wake up and come to the field in a good mood, or come to the field in a bad one.
And that's our choice. There's no 50-50 about it.
We went through a little stretch and we were 4 ½ up and now we're a half-game out and we lost two out of three in Tampa Bay. The only choice we have is to come fired up in Baltimore this weekend and to come with a positive attitude. We do that as a team better than anybody. We know how to shower off the bad games. We know how to shower off the negative stuff that's written about us, that's talked about us, better than any other team.
These next 10 days, we have that choice, to come out positive, or to feel sorry for ourselves because we're a little banged up and guys are going through some tough injuries and guys are battling with tough years statistically. We just have to bring that positive energy to this club the next 10 days.
No doubt in my mind, I've had an off-year statistically. I'm having a down year in home runs and a down year in RBIs. The average is right around wherever. But that is not important right now. I can't feel sorry for myself. I can't try to win back all the WEEI callers and the people who have been all over me all year because I've been off statistically. All I can do is support my club. They've had my back, I have their backs, we're a team and we're trying to win back-to-back championships. As far as personally, it's been a battle. But I've learned a lot, I've worked hard. I've enjoyed the struggles at times and the pluses. It's a good time to be swinging the bat well, and I'm swinging the bat well.
It's a lot of the same team from last year, and a lot of the same lineup. Sure, we're without our second baseman and our shortstop, but we have the same amount of guts.
There are some different faces who are just as hungry. We have to find a way to pick each other up. At this time of the year, that's what good teams do. When a guy fails to get in a guy from third base with less than two outs, the next guy gets the big hit with two outs. When a guy is not pitching as well as he should be and we go down by four or five runs, the offense picks that pitcher up and we find a way to win that game.
That's what this club needs to do right now and that's the same group that has been here the last three years that the new guys have fed off of.
A lot of people say that we're under pressure right now. I don't look at it as pressure. You look at it as fun. Like last year, the big thing was to shock the world. We came back somehow and won Game 7. We have the same opportunity this year.
We have a chance to go back to back, to get in the playoffs again, to win the American League East. The organization hadn't won a World Series in 86 years and now we have a chance to win back-to-back titles. That's fun. That's the way you look at it. What never goes through our mind is, 'Oh my God, what if we don't win?' You have to enjoy every moment possible and I think that's what we do.
This group of guys, we can't wait to get to the park every day. Guys get here at two o'clock. You want to be around each other. We spend more time with each other than we do our own families. You eat together, you shower together, you play together, you practice together. There's never any fights, it's just good guys getting along and competing.
The one thing about these last 10 games is, you can not worry about your statistics. You can not worry about the baloney that goes along with playing. Right now, it's about wins and losses, period. Guys are going to have their years, and it's over with. You look at a guy like Edgar Renteria, he's gotten guys over all year, that doesn't show up on the stats. We have to play good baseball. Every single at-bat, you have to be focused on helping this team win. If that's getting hit by a pitch or hitting a sac fly, that's what it's about right now. I don't think you have to worry about anything else personally.
The experience factor is big for this club as we get to this time of year. The experience we've had over the last three years is huge. I always thought it was overrated. Until you play in a postseason game and you come back the next year and play in a postseason game, you realize that the experience factor is not overrated. We have the experience to know how to grind out these next 10 days.
We're right in the hunt of everything. We're a series away from not making the playoffs, we're a series away from winning the American League East, we're a series away from making it as a Wild Card team, you don't know what's going to happen.
All we have to do is worry about ourselves. If we win baseball games, we go to the playoffs. If we don't win baseball games, we don't go to the playoffs.
You look at the way this schedule breaks down, and we have those three with the Yankees at our house to finish up. Whoever made the schedule this year did a phenomenal job. You have Anaheim and the A's doing their thing, you have the Indians and the White Sox doing their thing, and then you have us and the Yankees the last three games of the year.
You can't ask for a better script, other than getting good weather to go along with it. You have two heavyweight teams going after each other. That's what you want. You want the opportunity to play the team that you're against in the race. Hopefully it will mean something and we can come out on the good side.
Kevin Millar's diary appears as told to Ian Browne, a reporter for MLB.com. This story was not subject to the approval of Major League Baseball or its clubs.














