BOSTON -- As Kevin Millar spent the last couple of months agonizing over whether he would be returning to the Red Sox, the only thing that seemed to pass the time was working out.

So as the Red Sox dealt Doug Mientkiewicz to the Mets on Wednesday -- meaning that Millar will be back as the first baseman -- an added fringe benefit is that they just might get a new and improved player.

"It's indescribable. I haven't been able to sleep. I've been in the weight room," said Millar, reached at his home in Beaumont, Texas. "I've worked as hard as I ever have this offseason, probably the hardest I ever have. I'm in the best shape I've ever been in just because of this whole thing. I'd do pushups just to keep the nights going by. It was scary. I didn't know what was going to happen."

In other words, Millar was pretty sure Wednesday night would represent his most peaceful sleep in weeks.

He officially got the news Wednesday afternoon from Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein that there would be no need to fill out that change-of-address form. Now, Millar is revved and ready to be back with the Red Sox when Spring Training begins in Fort Myers, Fla., in a month.

Kevin Millar  /   1B
		Born: 09/24/71 Height: 6'0" Weight: 210 lbs Bats: R / Throws: R More info: Player page Stats | Splits Gallery Team Site | Shop

"I'm thrilled to death to be here with the Red Sox still and I had no doubt in my mind that it was the only group of guys I wanted to go see again in a couple of weeks," said Millar.

Millar plans on rewarding the Red Sox for their faith in him by becoming a better player.

"I want to come in and basically erase this [negative] label defensively," said Millar. "I want to be judged just on what's ahead. I'm going to come in and work every day. I've talked to Dale Sveum our third base coach about coming in every day and taking groundballs. Just working as hard as I can defensively to erase this label of what's been perceived of me at first base. I've hit every day, I've thrown every day. I feel good. I want to come in and have a great season because I think we have a chance to do something very special."

The 33-year-old Millar, who is entering the final year of his contract, has been a spirited clubhouse presence for the Red Sox the last two years, keeping things loose in an environment that has been known to get stressful.

"I'm so tight with everybody and that's what made the uncertainty tough," said Millar. "You're so close, not only as teammates, but they're like my family. I've spoken to [Jason] Varitek numerous times and I've spoken to [Curt] Schilling numerous times, Doug Mirabelli numerous times. You didn't know what the scenarios were. There was nowhere I wanted to play other than Boston. I feel like that's the only team I've played with and that's the team I want to finish my career with. I love it, I love the city and the group of guys that we have. We're very lucky to be a part of it."

This wasn't the first time Millar has had an unsettling offseason. Two years ago, he agreed to terms on a contract with the Chunichi Dragons of Japan, only to have a complete change of heart when he saw an opportunity to go to the Red Sox. The Red Sox finally won that struggle after a month-long battle.

"This has been almost as crazy as the Japan offseason in 2003," Millar said. "To be sitting here and actually think there's a chance I wouldn't be a Red Sox was actually scary. It was one of those things I had no control over. I was sitting, waiting, and hoping everything worked out. Today, I heard exactly what was going on and it was like this huge piano lifted off my back to know that I'm going back with all my guys."

If not for the Carlos Delgado sweepstakes, Millar likely would have learned his fate weeks ago. Once the Mets lost Delgado to the Marlins, they swiftly made their move for Mientkiewicz, allowing Millar to regain his peace of mind.

"A lot of it was waiting on Delgado," said Millar. "Delgado was the main guy we were waiting on and there were four teams he was going back and forth on and that was the frustrating thing. That team he didn't go to would be interested in whoever."

As it turned out, 'whoever' turned into Mientkiewicz, a man Millar gained a lot of respect for after playing with him for three months last season.

"Doug and I were very close and we're friends," said Millar. "He was part of our family and part of our run in history. This wasn't about me vs. Doug. This is a part of baseball. You had two first basemen and you know you can't have both of them. The big thing is there's really no such thing as a platoon these days because you don't face that many left-handers. I hit probably better against right-handed hitters. You knew something had to be done and you wish Doug the best, he's going to a great organization with the Mets, they're doing a lot of exciting things. He's probably going to a great situation."

But as far as Millar was concerned, there was no better situation than the one he was already in.